Rape

Anonymous Story: I Was A Virgin And After 4 Years It Still Hunts Me

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When I was in secondary school I had few friends in my circle (boys and girls), we were about 10 and we did everything together; party, told each other secrets, etc… Well, fast forward to when I finished my NECO examination, I was about 15/16 years old; I met someone through my friend, her elder brother’s friend. I remember him very well because it hunts me every time even though I try to forget.

He told my friend he liked me and because I trusted my friend and her brother I said, why not. I gave him the benefit of doubt (never fully trusted him), he was in his late 20’s at that time and we got talking, turned out he grew up around my area so he knew my family (sort of). The incident happened around June, 4 years ago, but I met him way before then.

He looked rough but sounded nice though he was way older; I felt we had a brother/sister thing going on because I was just a teenager. Turned out I was wrong… He invited me out countless times but I never went alone, I went with 3 of my friends every single time. My family was doing very well financially so he didn’t have anything that would impress me. Then one day, he said he wanted to give me some money, I told my friends about it and they all said I should take it because it was a lot of money, I told them I didn’t want it but later told them I’d take it… So, he invited me to his hotel room (didn’t go alone), he wrote me a cheque and I went with my friend to cash it. I didn’t really know how cheques worked, when I got to the bank they told me I needed another signature so I went back to him for it and told my friend to stay outside and I won’t be long (at least that was what I thought).

When I got inside and told him, he went to get a pen and even though something felt wrong I tried to suppress it, I started praying in my mind for GOD’s protection and before I could count to 20, he asked me to sit on his bed and started touching my thigh and he told me to get comfortable that he won’t bite. Before I knew it, he removed his clothes and pinned my arms down, and I started crying because this guy was big(physically). I cried and begged while he was trying to unzip my trouser, when I tried to stop him he tore my trouser(thank God for the jacket I wore that day) , after he tore my trouser, he tore my bra and slacked my top from pulling it. I continued crying and begging, that was when he put a pillow on my face because I was screaming, he pressed the pillow for minutes and when I felt myself loosing breath, I started struggling with all I had left in me.

Before then, my friend and I already said we didn’t trust him so I put her on speed dial and when I tried calling her, he smashed my phone. Back to when he undressed me, he was already undressed with a leather belt in his hand and I was soo scared for my life, he started slapping me and when I was still struggling, he started taking pictures, telling me he’ll leak my photos and I swear I knelt down, crawled and begged him. Then he told me to give him what he wants, I then told him I couldn’t give him because I was a virgin(which I was), he then threw me on the bed and tried to force himself in me while choking me with one of his hand. I was trying to cover my vagina with both my hand and he made his grip on my neck tighter, when he got tired he sat down at the end of the bed and told me he will give me two conditions, either I let him FUCK my brains out or I give him blow job and he’ll leak my photos. Obviously I picked the blow job, because I couldn’t lose my virginity in such a brutal manner.

That was my first time ever so I had no idea of what I was doing, I ended up throwing up all over the place, that was when he pushed me so hard on the ground and started calling me names, he kicked me and did all sorts to me and after I finished crying all the tears of my life, I picked myself up and went out to meet my friend that was still waiting… She saw the trauma in my eyes and she didn’t even ask what happened, she just hugged me and took me to the closest bus stop to my house and put me in a bus. When I got home, I kept showering, praying and trying to wash the dirt off me, but months passed and I was still scared.

At least I thought it was over but I was really wrong. He messaged me on whatsapp and when I didn’t respond he sent all the pictures he took that day and wrote that he was going to print it out and give it to my parents if I didn’t come back to him. I swear I cried, there were times I attempted killing myself because he kept blackmailing me and the more I ignored, the more his threats got stronger.

2 years later (2 years after secondary school), one of our other friends, told me that she heard something about me from the friend through whom I met that guy and she was scared to ask me, she didn’t know how. According to her, my friend told her I went to a hotel to meet guys and I’m now into prostitution, she denied saying such after I confronted her. Till today she still hasn’t apologized for what she said. I felt so betrayed considering how close we were as girls and our families as well. After 9 years of friendship and she couldn’t vouch for me, I was really disappointed, sad and heartbroken….I’ve never truly trusted anyone since then. People hurt people, the people you think would have your back and support you won’t even vouch for you. Life is just a messed up place. I still remember the guy.

 

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1 Comment

  1. Ibeh Helen Nkolila Reply

    This is rather sad! You didn’t trust your parents enough to cuddle up and tell them?? You needed them most at that point in time. It was wrong of you to have gone to his hotel room…but c’mon the deed has been done. The blackmail was your cue to exposing him and not let it just go… Your friend…well,that’s one thing with friends ( Yourt thr good ,bad and ugly), just pray you have more of the good. It is four (4) years already…let it go, live your life,hope for the best,forgive, forget amd don’t stop loving yourself.

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