Tag

Sexual Violence

Browsing

Many people think they can’t advocate because they don’t know enough about policy, but this should not stop you – your voice matters!  Preventing sexual violence takes all of us, working together in big and small ways to create a culture of safety and respect in our society. With a problem of this magnitude, where does one person start? Action tip 1 – Learn: Listen to survivor stories. Learn more about sexual violence, such as; how perpetrators use power and control. how different forms of oppression intersect – Equality is not the reality in our society. Sexual violence is rooted in power inequities and is connected to all forms of oppression. We need to send a strong message that it isn’t OK when others aren’t treated with dignity and respect. Recognize rape culture happening every day. Learn what enthusiastic consent looks like. Action tip 2 – Think and Prepare: Treat…

Sexual assault is a seriously under-reported crime. Victims and survivors do not report their assault to law enforcement for several reasons; such as, fear of retaliation from perpetrators; feelings of shame and embarrassment; a belief that the rape, abuse or harassment was a minor incident and not a police matter; and a concern that police and prosecutors would question their veracity and credibility. Victims who report the crime and are willing to cooperate with police and prosecutors as the case moves forward may encounter criminal justice officials who are skeptical of their allegations and who question their credibility. Sadly, victims experience these negative outcomes all too often. There is much to be done, there is much that can be done if sexual assault is to be treated as the violent crime it is and if victims of sexual assault are to be treated with respect and dignity. We had a…

The subject of rape is a very sensitive one, both for the victim and the culprit. We read about different experiences the victims go through. Worse, our society has over time learned to tilt the table in favor of the culprit, while further victimizing the victim. Although there have been numerous instances where people have used the false accusation of rape as a weapon, causing havoc in the lives of many, tarnishing their reputation and damaging the credibility of those who are actual victims of rape. Findings from a National Survey carried out in 2014 on Violence Against Children in Nigeria confirmed one in four girls reported experiencing sexual violence in childhood with approximately 70% reporting more than one incident of sexual violence. In the same study, it was found that 24.8% of female victims, between 18 to 24 years old,  experienced sexual abuse prior to age 18 of which…

“I am a more sensitive person, a more compassionate and sympathetic doctor because of my rape experience in med school than I would have ever been without it. But I would give up all the growth in a second if I could have gone through med school without the experience. If I could choose, I would forego all of the spiritual growth and depth which has come my way because of my experiences, and be what I was eleven years ago, an ordinary student, studying hard to be a medical doctor. But I cannot choose.” – A Survivor In the face of a traumatic event, individuals may experience, along with the inherent negative responses, a number of positive changes, which reveal posttraumatic growth. The idea that, at least for some people, an encounter with trauma, which may have elements of great suffering and loss, can lead to highly positive changes…

I was 19, just walking home from a friend’s, it was only 11 o’clock at night. It happened so suddenly, I didn’t fight, I just froze. For a long time, I did not know if it was ‘really’ rape, I never said no, I never said anything. It was surreal, it almost felt like I was watching it happening to someone else from above. For months I had severe nightmares, everything played over and over in my mind, “I should have done something,” “I should have fought,” it would not stop. I couldn’t talk about it to most people. I felt so numb and empty, like something had been taken away from me but at the same time it did not seem real. I couldn’t do anything; my world came to a halt. I felt so disgusted and ashamed of myself. And it was not just me who was affected,…

As you recover from rape and childhood trauma, you will begin to get back in touch with your authentic self, untainted from the trauma’s effects.  It has been said that most survivors grew up too fast. Their vulnerable child-selves got lost in the need to protect and deaden themselves. Reclaiming the inner child is part of the healing process. Often the inner child holds information and feelings for the adult. Some of these feelings are painful; others are actually fun. The child holds the playfulness and innocence the adult has had to bury. Indeed, although trauma from sexual violence does incalculable harm, survivors can start to become the person they have always wanted to be, it will take a lot of work but healing, and eventually thriving, is possible. It is most likely that it’ll force you to develop strengths which you may well now be in a position to…

… Continued: I could tell story after story of pretending to be asleep and him coming into my bedroom regardless if my mom was home or not. He raped me at 11 and a half and I ran and locked myself in the bathroom in pain. I then had a babysitter who must have been in her 20’s as I remember she had a baby. I decided that if Mary had a baby without sex then I might be able to pass off having a baby and say that I was like Mary. I understood nothing but somehow, I was frightened of getting pregnant and then explaining what had happened and I was so ashamed I did not want my mom to know. This babysitter must have thought that I was crazy, as I argued that this could happen.  Well, one day I brought home a paper to go to the…

Sometimes being an adult that suffered from child molestation or rape never leaves my mind and the repercussions of it have affected me deeply. The effect is a scar just like the kind that you receive when you’re badly injured and get stitches. I cannot speak for others as I have only had my own personal experience.  The severity of mine was very bad, it was cruel, it was terrifying, it was unmentionable and scary.  I was frightened most of my young life and it was ongoing from 7 to 17.  I was in a very innocent age at the time being born in the 50’s.  My generation did not have TV depicting much about wholesome family unit shows.  I had no Internet to look up things and asking people might have revealed something I felt ashamed, guilty, uneducated, and unknowledgeable about.  I had a small teaching of the Bible from a few Sunday School classes.  I…

What details do children these days need to know? And how much freedom should headteachers have to decide? The need to improve sex and relationship education in school and at home comes as the number of sexual assaults experienced by children and teenagers from adults and their peers continues to rise. Young people must be taught the importance of healthy and stable relationships, and what exploitative relationships look like. We all know that children, teenagers and young adults experience sexual harassment and violence, and online they are exposed to images and content which can be very disturbing and addictive. Hence, it is vital that schools and parents give children the information they need about sex, consent and healthy relationships. Sex education varies from family to family and school to school, so people’s experiences are different. Does sex Ed really fulfill its course name? most of the time, no it does…

Every day now in the news, we learn of various cases of rape and sexual abuse. On the one hand is the incident and on the other is how perpetrators respond when accused, and how it is handled by the authorities. Both the response and outcome are crucially important. A good response, in addition to a satisfactory resolution in court can at least do some good (sincere apologies, and where there’s lack of one – seeing perpetrators get a full  conviction for what they did, can be healing). But when nothing happens, it not only exacerbates the harm of the first injury, it also inflicts new injury, and makes it difficult for the victim to recover. It is very important to be a good listener when a friend or loved one discloses a difficult or upsetting experience like sexual assault or harassment, it is called giving the gift of presence.…